They’re both either busy or full of shit. What do both men and public toilets have in common? He holds onto the lightbulb and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many blokes does it take to change a lightbulb? What is the name for the useless bit of skin at the end of a penis? Why is it so hard for women to blink during foreplay?

What is a man's process for sorting out their laundry? Why is it so hard for men to make eye contact with a woman? He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? What do anniversaries, the toilet bowl and the clitoris all have in common? The very same urge that makes dogs chase cars which they have no intention of driving. What is it that makes men chase women which they have no intention of marrying? One is a filthy scum-sucking, crap-eating, bottom feeder and the other one is a fish. What’s the difference between a catfish and a boyfriend? What’s the difference between men and term deposits? How are you able to tell when a man is sexually aroused? What are the four words which are a sure fire way to demolish a mans ego?

One big difference between men and women is that when women say 'smell this', it usually smells nice. If you are able to lay them correctly the first time, then you are able able to walk all over them for the next twenty five years. They are very hard to get started, they make yucky smells and half the time they don’t even work. These one liner jokes about men are harsh but very funny, don't worry guys, there are jokes about women further below.

Jokes about blues music